April 11th, 2008
Live on from the All-State Arena - Rosemont, Illinois
What a freakin opener we got tonight. And, joining me for the first time since
DECEMBER, the guy who SHOULD be out here every week with me, Nick Webb.
Webb: Thanks Rayne. It feels good to be back, and not just getting calls saying that my services will be looked into next week.
Rayne: Well Nick, you came back at a strange time. Seems one of the Straders was killed in a freak exploding semi truck accident, and yet one of them is fighting tonight.
Webb: Well damn, I'm guessing he won't be in a good mood then.
Rayne: I would not count of him being in one.
Webb: I feel bad for the sap fighting him tonight.
Nash Strader vs. Helix
Strader is obviously not in the mood to have to deal with anything from anyone. Helix tries to bring his a-game, but Strader is a machine tonight. Strader's assult stays down on the ground for once, trying to just decimate Helix anytime the upstart makes a mistake. Helix trys to fight back at one point, nailing a hard clothesline. But, when he goes to pick up SNS, SNS headbuts Helix. Helix stumbles backward as SNS jumps to his feet. SNS runs at Helix and grabs him for The Memory Remains. Helix kicks and flails, but it does him no good. SNS gets the pin, before heading straight to the back.
Rayne: Nice to see you still have the touch buddy.
Webb: I thought Project X had the touch with Adams wife.
Rayne: SHHHHHHHHH! DUDE!....keep that quiet.
Webb: Well anyway, Helix tried.
Rayne: Try as he might, I think maybe he'd been using a little too much of his product, if you know what I'm saying.
Webb:...no clue. Next up, The Razordolls go against the new team of the Fighting Irish!
Perhaps this week the Irish Duo will show us something more
The Fighting Irish vs. The Razordolls
Eric Emerson: Introducing first...
and O'Riley appear at the top of the entrance ramp, the arena bathed in green
light as green, white, and red sparks fly behind them, a large Irish Flag
flowing on the large screen overhead.
Eric Emerson: At 474 pounds... the Fighting Irish!
They taunt and rile up the crowd as they make their way down to the ring, slidding beneath the bottom ropes and continuing to pump up the crowd as they pace around the ring.
Eric Emerson: And their opponents...
steps back as the room falls dark before a distant sound circles the arena.
out there and make it/make it look good
with a crash the grind of Dead Girl Superstar breaks the speakers as the arena
bursts in purple light.
Eric Emerson: Weighing in at two hundred, forty-six pounds combined...
A flicker cracks the entrance way screen, spinning across a corded SiD logo before we cut skipping and jumping across a shot of Lisa in the ring who then turns towards us in a freeze frame of a wide tooth grin soaked in blood, her name burn on the screen at her side.
she threw downtown on a gambling green
and fenced a chicken dog in a movie
a long haired baby got a record machine
like a hacksaw falling on me
cut again then as the music continues to pound, this time to a close shot of
Dahlia with an opponent stooped over her and then we freeze frame again just as
she forces them down to their back in an Armbar. Her name burns again before we
cut one last time to a jittering Razordolls logo.
go go go
dying to go
she's moving in like a demon
the first beat a burst rips across the stage, showering it in fluorescent light.
go go go
dying to go
she's moving in like a demon
second time through a spotlight floods the entrance ramp as a wall of white
sparks that shower the stage around them. It's then that our duo emerges, Lisa
and Dahlia, The Razordolls, the mere sight of them ripping a wave of cheers
across the arena.
girl dead girl
cheers roll on as Lisa takes a knee, extending her hands towards her partner who
loops her own into the air and then bobs on her knees, dressed all in black from
her dress to the black mesh sleeves that wrap her arms, all save of course from
the contradicting tights - one in black and white stripe and one in red and
black, falling down into a a pair of red and black checkered sneakers.
girl dead girl superstar
then jumps back to her feet as we take a look at her, dressed to the standard in
black baggy jeans, red trainers and a white T-Shirt with a simple SiD logo
plastered on the front. Hard to miss though, your eyes fall upon the white tape
that wraps her left arm as she holds her palms to the sky.
Eric Emerson: Lisa Seldon. Dahlia Starr. I give you... THE RAZORDOLLS!
The ovation only rises on the calling of their name as the two sweep down the ramp, touching base with a few fans as they pass.
she blew uptown on a cemetery sound
and wore her leather pants for week yeah
a canteen butcher got tiger teeth
and a handmade circus freak yeah
the ring it's Dahlia who enters first, sliding in under the bottom rope and
quickly bouncing back to her feet while Lisa remains outside on the apron,
hopping up on one knee before leaning back to get a good shot of the fans. She
then hops up to her feet and grasps the ropes.
go go go
dying to go
she's moving in like a demon
the ropes then, Lisa leap frogs in to her feet and then drops to a knee, holding
her arms out as the crowd cheers her on again.
girl dead girl
to her corner then, Lisa joins Dahlia, sharing a few words before jumping up the
ropes and lifting her palms to the fans, who roar their approval once again.
girl dead girl superstar
it in with a smile, she then drops down, turns and leans back into the corner
with her partner as the sound begins to fall.
Well folks, this is an important match for the Razordolls. After last weeks
defeat they need to win this leading in to their big title shot at Revolutions
Rayne: That's an awful name by the way.
Webb: Yes. It's no Happenstance, that's for sure.
The two teams take their corners, The Fighting Irish leading with O'Riley while Lisa starts for hers. The two meet in the middle as the bell sounds off.
Webb: So, any predictions?
Rayne: I think two little girls are about to get smashed.
The two square off, and O'Riley leads by offering up his hand for a test of strength, way way beyond what Lisa can reach as she jumps up to grab it.
Webb: Well this is novel.
Rayne: Looks like the boys are going to toy with them a little before they take this one home.
Try as she might, Lisa falls short reaching his hand twice over, and takes a step back to consider the situation while O'Riley just stands tall and laughs. Then the laughs only get bigger as Lisa calls in Dahlia and asks her to crouch down while Lisa straddles her shoulders. Dahlia sprouts up then, with Lisa sat on her shoulders, and from there Lisa finally reaches his hands.
Rayne: What? Why isn't the referee doing anything about this illegal double team?
Webb: I think he's going to let this one go.
The two lock up, Lisa clearly disadvantaged as she fights to stay steady on Dahlia's shoulders, and things only get worse when O'Riley lets go and pushes her away, leaving the two tumbling into a heap.
Rayne: Both women are down as O'Riley asserts his dominance yet again.
Webb: It's true it's not looking good early on for The Razordolls, but you don't get the impression they're taking this seriously.
Rayne: Oh this is going to get serious alright. Seriously deadly!
Webb: You know it's your fault we're being kept on the B-show.
The crowd cheers as the Razordolls pull themselves from one another, Lisa sending Dahlia back out onto the apron. Again then she meets him, O'Riley, still holding one hand above her head and beckoning her own... and she gives him a smile.
Webb: This doesn't look good.
Rayne: Why, what could she possibly -
With one bone shattering kick against his ribs she brings O'Riley to his knees, every ounce of machismo draining from his flesh. Now definitely in reach then she locks hands with him in a test of strength and sinks to her knees below him, fawning in agony just long enough before she leaps back onto her feet, kicks free one hand and then twists around on the other. From behind then she lines up, and one more lethal Roundhouse Kick on the base of his skull drops him dead on his face.
Webb: Looks like she's not messing around anymore. O'Riley looks to be out cold.
Pitching a mass of dead weight out of the ring, Lisa turns to Shamus and offers him the floor, and he gratefully obliges, rushing in and throwing a fly-swatter right hand that fills nothing but air as Lisa steps around behind him.
Webb: See, what I think a lot of people are forgetting is that while the Razordolls are the smallest team in the league, they're also hands down the fastest by a mile.
Rayne: Well yeah but that girl has a kick on her like a mule!
Lisa ducks under and between a few more wild swings with relative ease before sending him head over heels with a simple out stretched foot. Shamus lands hard and scrambles back to his feet, baring down on his now less than amused looking opponent with a Clothesline. He barely finds his feet before Lisa kicks his arm out of midair.
Rayne: Shamus is all over her but she's not even breaking a sweat!
Webb: Just like a lot of people they have no idea what this team is capable of.
Shamus turns away cradling his arm, but he doesn't get far before Lisa catches him, dragging him around by the hair and pulling him down in vicious knee strike that splits his nose across his face. The man staggers back blowing a gusher before being spun on his heels and shoved forward, right into Dahlia who takes him out of the air with a hellacious flying knee.
Rayne: The Black Dahlia Murder!
Webb: Quite a mouthful.
Rayne: And... well... I was very wrong about how this was going to go.
Shamus crumples on a heap on the floor as Dahlia flies through him, earning the praise of the fans. The referee deciding to just let it go as O'Riley staggers back into the fray and gets a kick in the gut from Dahlia for her troubles. Dahlia then hooks him up from behind her for the Sliced Bread #2 and lifts a leg to Lisa, who uses that to throw her overhead as Dahlia drives O'Riley into the mat.
Rayne: The Poison Falls!
Webb: I hear that one's new.
Dahlia lands it hard and falls sitting while Lisa run in behind them. Using the momentum then, Dahlia lands and rolls through, right into Lisa who bends down and catches her on her shoulders. Lisa then pops up standing ,with Dahlia sitting on top of her. She then paunches her off, sending Dahlia up who comes down on O'Riley with a Legdrop, once again getting a rise out of the fans.
Webb: A beautiful combination from the two, and they are definitely making a point of this one.
Rayne: Well they're doing just that.
The end seems little more than a formality now as Lisa drags the prone frame of O'Riley into the centre of the ring while Dahlia takes up her position on the top-rope. She takes just a moment to consider, before she leaps into the air for the Cyanide Rain.
Webb: A beautiful Corkscrew Frogsplash from Dahlia. These two are definitely making an impression tonight.
From a tremendous height Dahlia plummets to the mat and crashes through her opponent, exploding from the impact and rolling away onto her back as Lisa very casually slinks in for the cover, the sound of the count barely heard above the din of the fans.
Well it's over, and The Razordolls earn an emphatic win on their way into RPM.
Rayne: Yeah but for all the good it did them. I mean sure they won tonight, but this team are nothing compared to what they're in for with Might and Magic.
Webb: No but it certainly went someway toward showing what they're capable of, and it's definitely going to take a lot more than just being bigger for M&M to get the win over this team.
A very lively burst of Fear of Dying by Jack Off Jill takes over the speakers; the fans rise in cheers as Lisa helps her partner back to her feet and throws her hand into the air and we let it linger for a moment before we cut out of scene.
Webb: Well, the Razordolls have proven why they are the number one contenders to the tag titles! Now we come to the main event. Nice to see a familiar face in Sirus Moran.
Rayne: But, tonight someone will try to beat up a Moran, and not get arrested for a hate crime.
Webb: That's right. The realitivly new Kindred is stepping in the ring with one of the younger Moran's, and will try to continue making his name, over Sirus.
Sirus Moran vs. Kindred
showed up with al' and Alice, and left the two to chat in the corner. This match
was possibly the match of the show, fitting since it was the main event. At one
point, Sirus hit a spinning elbow, and sent Kindred to the ground. Sirus yanked
Kindred up, and quickly assults him with the Nameless Knock Out. At this point,
Kindred started bleeding from the mouth, but he seemed to be driven back in the
fight by this. Kindred quickly tackled Sirus, and started nailing fists, and
droping legs and elbows on him. After about two minutes of this, Kindred picked
Sirus up by the hair, and kicked him in the gut. With Sirus bent over, Kindred
dragged Sirus to the corner, and slammed him shoulder first into the corner.
Sirus slumped into the corner, and Kindred hit the Shadow Diver. Kindred pulled
the out cold Sirus from the corner, and got the three.
Webb: Things could be bright for Kindred if he can keep it together.
Rayne: He's making quite the impact so far.
Rayne: Quite the contribution buddy.
Webb: Up yours.
Rayne: Ah, just like old times. For Nick Webb, I'm Rayne, and this has been total Chaos.